One of the greatest stands a man can make against sexual sin is to appropriate the Grace of God for the purpose of self control of his eyes. We live in a highly visually sensual society where women are encouraged to be looked at and men are encouraged to look. Even in the Christian community, when appearance and modesty are brought up in conversation it solicits a reaction from both men and women. Women respond against being told that modesty should be considered because they interpret that as being told what they should wear by someone; and men respond against this conversation by saying it is no big deal how women dress because they can handle it.
Job 31:1 says, “I have made a covenant with my eyes; why then should I look upon a young woman?” A covenant with my eyes? What does that mean, how is that done? A covenant is a binding agreement and pledge; it has depth, somberness and integrity. It is more that just waking up in the morning and thinking about being on guard about what you look at during the day. A covenant promotes a solid change of life and lifestyle, not just a cautionary warning that says, “you shouldn’t be looking at this.” A covenant changes the way you live and function in life. Consider the covenant of marriage; “forsaking all others and keeping only unto your spouse as long as you shall live.” Now that mandates a few things; no more dating, no more flirting, no more independence, no more availability for intimate friendships with a woman. It also mandates exclusiveness to one woman who is the focus of your desires, thoughts and attentions.
So when Job says he made a covenant with his eyes, he understood that the eyes feed his soul, whether for the good and benefit or the evil and destruction of his soul. Job understood that this meant a resolve to eliminate all unnecessary associations with environments which would promote any kind of temptation. Let’s face it, when a man is in sexual sin, the eyes play a significant part in that sin. Primarily the sinful heart is the issue, but the eyes are feeding the heart. And I have found that most men I counsel struggle at eliminating visual things from their life; television, movies, locations, internet… men will fight tooth and nail at keeping some access to these things justifying the reasonableness of doing so. They say that it is just, “unreasonable, not practical and too rigid to take such a strong stance concerning their entertainment and relaxation habits. Even wives resist at the thought of not watching their favorite programs or going to their favorite places for the sake of their husband who is in sexual sin. To me, that is just pure delusion. If you think you can overcome sexual sin while feeding the lustful heart you are deceived. This is a must, a necessity and a scriptural mandate to make a “covenant with your eyes.” And that means an absolute forsaking of all things which titillate the lusting soul. If you are serious about conquering sexual sin, then you must become serious about forsaking all other stimulus.
Psalms 101:2-3 says, “I will behave wisely in a perfect way. Oh when will you come to me? I will walk within my house with a perfect heart. I will set nothing wicked before my eyes; I hate the work of those who fall away; it shall not cling to me. A perverse heart shall depart from me; I will not know wickedness.”
In this Psalms we see some important points for a strategy to live out on a daily basis, let me highlight them for you.
To be wise in our behavior; to be blameless in our motives and intents of our heart.
Foolish reasoning will keep you in bondage. It is not foolish to know that you cannot handle something because of sinful propensities, that is wisdom! Foolishness and pride go together and lie to you saying you can handle it, and then ensnare you into sin.
You must rely upon the grace of God for every decision and stand you make to kill lust in your heart: “Oh, when will you come to me?”
Most sexual sin and temptation happens behind closed doors, in secret and isolation. And it is because of the idolatrous heart of lust that men begin to worship at the altar of sexual idolatry in their homes or in places of reproach.
The covenant of setting nothing wicked in front of your eyes in a imperative, a command, especially for those who struggle and wrestle with sexual sin. The determination is this: “I will set nothing.” This is not a suggestion, and if you are serious about victory in your life, then you will walk this out in obedience and eliminate all the carnal reasoning in your mind.
You must begin to cultivate a “hatred” or at least a dislike of the “WORK” of those who are not serving God; not the people but their work. It is amazing how many Christians are enamored by the product of those who do not serve God; from the movies to their music and to their pornography, Christians are a fan of the work of the wicked. You must begin to hate this work and do not allow it to take hold in your heart. A great barometer for your desire is if you cannot live without watching or viewing the work of the wicked. If you think you cannot live without seeing the latest blockbuster movie coming out, then you love the work of the wicked.
Create singleness of heart to love God, serve Christ and purify your heart and flesh. This becomes your primary motive of daily living.
Cleansing your conscience from dead works so that all of the remembrance and images of wickedness are taken out of your heart so that they are not easily accessed in your thoughts.
If you are serious about becoming free from sexual sin and enslavement you will begin to challenge the things which you look with intent at.
The same guy, a different girl… what a tragedy… what a mistake… I beg for God’s mercy and restorative power to come to these girls who have been violated by this perverted man and pastor…
As a Pastor of a small local church, I have had many become upset with me concerning the standards I insist upon in the congregation I minister to, which are in place for checks and balances. Such as “married” youth directors and never a man privately interacting with a woman, or a woman privately interacting with a man. Since we are a family integrated church, our children are highly involved with their parents and our youth director’s prime focus is the parents and how to serve them. All youth events are “family” orientated, the whole family is invited, no seclusion or “teen only” mentality. Standards are high, visibility is high, no driving alone… and the inconvenient list goes on. Modesty is also enforced, young girls are not allowed to dress inappropriately and young men are to dress appropriately as well. As a matter of fact, this philosophy runs through are whole church… why? Because we live in an over sensualized society, on the street, in the magazines, in our movies and media, everywhere you turn the idolization of the human body is confronting you. Nudity and sexual imagery is prevalent. And the worst of it is society today says that it is all right. Girls are taught that they are to be looked at and so market what you got; boys are taught to look… but the truth is you can only look so much before you want to touch! And that goes for young and old alike.
So men, it is up to us to stop looking, turn your eyes, don’t pay to see sensual images on the movie screen, turn off your TV, and guard your heart and eyes. Pastors, raise the standards no matter how much $$$$ it costs you in people leaving your church. We cannot serve God and mammon, so we must serve Christ by setting the standards high once again. I am not talking about legalism or legislating the attire for church attendance, but what I am saying is when something is inappropriate, address it without hesitancy. What you don’t address, you endorse. Will it make everyone happy, I think not… but we are not called to be men pleasers, but pleasers of God and His ways… Retain Honor!
The point of the Retain Honor blog is to point out how many men have given over to their lusts and are driven by sexual sin. The Word of Gos specifically says you will lose you honor with sexual sin, and your reproach will not be taken away. The headlines are full of stories of men who are in bondage to their lusts in their minds and hearts. How does it get their? Because men allow little sensual things in their lives, movies and media, internet pornography, magazines and pictures, and these things do take root and cause your thoughts to lust. Men, rise up, get a hold of your sensualized mind, turn the other way, look somewhere else, do go to movies with sexual images portrayed, even a little bit. Cleanse your hands and purify your minds.
You know… my posting of these sexual sins in Pastors lives is not for the reasons of condemnation or judgment, but to stress the point that something is clearly wrong in the “ways of living” in the Christian men and Pastors. And then to exclude biblical standards for Elders and bring them back into the pulpit as soon as possible really confounds all common sense and blasphemes the Name of Christ. Then we rename adultery, calling it an affair… no wonder nothing powerful is happening in the Christian Church in America… look at these two news headlines of moral failures…
So… why do two men who have large churches and some prominence, wife and children, friends and family, risk everything they have become and are and shall be for sex? Proverbs 6:26 tells us men that by means of a harlot, a man is reduced to a crust of bread… we have too many “crusty pastors” in the pulpits in America. Don’t think that these men were weak either… Proverbs 7:26 says, “…she has cast down many wounded, and all who were slain by her were strong men.” It is not that these men weren’t strong preachers and leaders, but they were weak in some areas where the Word of God admonishes to be strong in. Proverbs 6:23-24 tells us two key things; first a strong devotional life in the commandments of God… not just studying to get the next big message, but studying to have the light of God’s Word penetrate our fleshly and carnal desires. Second, Reproofs of instruction. Why was a man of God going into a “gentlemens” club in Paris in the first place? Was he there alone? If he was… why in God’s Name was he? And if he was there with others, where was the reproofs of instruction? Did he have only “yes men” around him who were to afraid of loosing postion and pay to say stop? There is just so many things wrong with the open access and freedom of todays Pastors… we are not corporate business men… we are shepherds of the “Family” of God! When we begin to look at ministry as a business model, then business perks and priviledges are then looked for. But that is not what Jesus died for. I could go on and on concerning the “errors” and “set ups” that these men tripped over before the first fall… God have mercy upon them.
I have finished reading the book, “The Reformed Pastor” by Richard Baxter who was a Puritan. I think every Pastor ought to read this book, to get a fresh perspective upon the call of being a Pastor… let me close this post with a loose quote from the book… “Don’t undo with your lives by what you say with your mouths”… in other words… we preach the Gospel of Christ, Heaven or Hell every week… the saving of souls is our calling… so don’t undo what you preach on Sunday Morning with the way you live your life the rest of the week.
Here is yet another story of a 49 year old man violating a young 13 year old girl. This is a story which produces many emotions in my soul… all I can do is cry out for God’s mercies upon the Church in America and its ministers.
The sexual deviancy of today’s men in every area of life is becoming an exponential problem and exposure. From Governor’s to coaches, ministers to priests; sexual sin, adultery, perversion, molestation and abuse are becoming a regular headline event. It is the judgment of God upon His people when He uses a foreign nation to expose and to harass His people when they are in sin.
Isa 47:3 – “Your nakedness shall be uncovered, yes, your shame will be seen; I will take vengeance, And I will not arbitrate with a man.”
La 1:8 – “Jerusalem has sinned gravely, therefore she has become vile. All who honored her despise her because they have seen her nakedness; yes, she sighs and turns away.”
Eze 16:36-37 – “Thus says the Lord God: “Because your filthiness was poured out and your nakedness uncovered in your harlotry with your lovers, and with all your abominable idols, and because of the blood of your children which you gave to them, surely, therefore, I will gather all your lovers with whom you took pleasure, all those you loved, and all those you hated; I will gather them from all around against you and will uncover your nakedness to them, that they may see all your nakedness.”
Men, turn from all manner of lusts, “Flee youthful lusts” the Apostle Paul said to Timothy, a young minister. We must begin to restore and rebuild the God given placement of men, men who can control their desires, men who can put their family above their impulses, men who live sacrificially for their wife and children, men who do not look at the woman who dresses provocatively and wants you in her power. For every time an immoral woman can get you to look at her, she now has the command of your life and attention, and you have given over you honor to sensual pleasures. Men become weak in a society when they cannot control their souls and minds. Don’t give your honor away, retain honor.
Eric Hensley
Retain Honor 